Fifty Shades Burned
by RememberMeForCenturies
Summary: AU After Charlie Tango is reported missing, Anastasia finds herself heartbroken and expecting. It isn't long before Christian returns home safe, and finds the guy he hates trying to seduce his girlfriend. The Grey's have a long journey ahead of them. Can they do it before time runs out and someone is left making a life or death decision?
1. Chapter 1

I lean against the wall of the bathroom stall, panting heavily. My heart is beating rapidly and my head is spinning. This is not a good time to be getting sick. Either Taylor or Sawyer will tell Christian and then he'll be worried about me instead of focusing on his business trip. I wipe my mouth with a paper towel before washing my hands thoroughly. When I get back to my desk, the phone starts ringing. Christian? No. I look at the caller ID. It's just Claire. Why won't Christian answer my emails or voice mails?

"There's a guy here for you in reception. How come you know all the hot guys, Ana?"

It must be José. I glance at the clock─ it's five fifty five. Instead of the excitement that should have pulsed through me, dread and concern flooded through me. I didn't want to be sick during my night out.

"Ana, you look great! So grown up!" He grins impishly at me before grabbing me in a tight embrace. "And tall."

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "It's just the shoes, José, and you don't look too bad yourself. Let me just go grab my stuff and then we can go."

"I'll wait here."

Sawyer is standing outside as José and I come through the door. I look at him in question and pull him off to the side. Since we're just going to the bar across the way, I send José over to get us drinks. "Have you heard from Christian?" I asked.

He shakes his head. "I do not contact him unless it is an emergency, Miss Steele."

"This is an emergency, Sawyer. Please call Christian and inform him that I need to speak to him as soon as possible."

"Yes, Miss Steele." Taking a deep breath, I walk across the street to the bar.

José and I talked for a while about nothing in particular. There was still no word from either Christian or Sawyer and that worried me, but I pushed it aside. I couldn't focus on hanging out with José and being happy while trying to figure out why my boyfriend won't answer me.

"So no hot babe to keep you busy? Last time I saw you, you had half a dozen women hanging on your every word." I arch an eyebrow at him.

"No," he speaks softly, his eyes raking up and down my body. "None of those women are enough for me."

The looks he's giving me sends chills down my spine. "Maybe you should start going on dates. So you're not lonely."

José arches an eyebrow. "Who says I'm lonely?"

"Well, I just … I …"

He laughs. "I get what you're trying to say. So how's Grey?" he asks, in a colder, harsher voice.

"He's good. We're good," I murmur.

"Serious, you say?"

"Yes. Serious."

"He's not too old for you?"

"Oh José. You know what my mom says—I was born old." José's mouth twists wryly.

Just then I hear my name being called by none other than my best friend, Kate Kavanagh. She's dragging Ethan behind her. When she's close enough, I jump up from my seat to greet her. Oh I've missed her so much. She pushes me away from her and holds me at arm's length, examining me closely. But before she can get a word out, my stomach decides to flop and I rush to the bathroom where I throw my drink up. Since I haven't really eaten anything that's all I have in my stomach.

Kate pulls my hair into a pony tail and rubs my back. "It doesn't seem that you've drank much. So that leaves one question. Are you feeling okay? If you had told us you were sick, we could have rescheduled!"

I begin to speak, but my stomach has other ideas. Next thing I know, I'm heaving over the side of the toilet. "Maybe I should bring you home?" she asks with concern evident in her voice.

"No, no. I'm fine. I promise," I attempt to reassure her. "It's just the stomach bug." Kate was so obviously not convinced, but returned with me back to the table.

"Are you okay, Ana?" José asks as I come back to the table.

I shoot a smile at him. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." I could see Sawyer standing by the entrance of the bar looking confused.

Kate places her hand on mine. "We could do this tomorrow when─" She stops abruptly and checks her phone.

"Hi, baby," she says when she answers it. Baby! She frowns and looks at me. "Sure," she says and turns to me. "It's Elliot . . . he wants to talk to you."

"Ana." Elliot's voice is clipped and quiet, and my scalp prickles ominously.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Christian. He's not back from Portland."

"What? What do you mean?" My voice is low and my eyes snap to Sawyer, who is staring straight at me.

"His helicopter has gone missing."

"_Charlie Tango_?" I whisper as all the breath leaves my body. "No! I knew there was a reason he wasn't answering my calls or emails."

My stomach lurches and I know I'm going to be sick again. I drop Kate's phone on the table and run back to the bathroom. This time it's Sawyer who follows. "Miss Steele, is everything─ okay we have to get you back to Escala." I stand up to leave after I'm done throwing up everything inside of me ─which is nothing─ but my knees buckle and I find myself falling to the ground. Before Sawyer is able to catch me, I hit my head on the toilet and pass out.

When I wake, it's by a beeping sound. I force my eyes to open and I look around. My head is pounding and no one seems to be around. I'm in Christian's bed, hooked up to a heart monitor. I clench my eyes shut. Christian's not here. _Charlie Tango_ is missing. He didn't come back from Portland. The heart monitor starts going crazy and someone burst through the door.

"Ana, honey, open your eyes." It's Grace.

I open my eyes and look at her, tears welling up. "He's not here," I cry.

"Sh, honey. Taylor sent out a search team as soon as he got word that the helicopter was missing." Grace brushed hair out of me face. "Ana," she whispered. "Did you know?"

I look at her like she's crazy. "Know that Taylor─"

Grace shakes her head. "No, no. Ana, you're pregnant." I could feel the blood drain from my face. "I take it you didn't know. Kate told me you were sick before and I ran a few tests."

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I am pregnant with Christian Grey's baby and he is nowhere to be found. I don't know what I will do with myself if they find out he's dead.

"Grace," I sniffled, "we haven't been together long enough. Wh-what if he doesn't want it? What if he doesn't want me anymore?"

"Hush now. Don't say things like that. You are the best thing that ever happened to him. He'd be lost without you. You two were meant for each other and the way you look at him and him at you. It truly is beautiful."

"B-but what if he's not found?" I cried harder.

She wrapped her arms around me and held me as I cried. The heart monitor was going off the walls, but we both ignored that until Elliot, Sawyer, Taylor, and Carrick ran in looking worried and anxious.

"Is everything okay in here?" Carrick asked.

Both Grace and I nodded. "Please don't tell anyone," I whispered and squeezed her hand.

"Never." Then she gave me the biggest smile. The kind of smile that said you're-carrying-my-grandchild.

I wiped my eyes and looked at Taylor and Sawyer. "Any updates?" I croaked. I sound terrible. My throat is all scratchy and raw.

Taylor sighed and shook his head. "None as of right now, Miss Steele. Would you like to explain why the heart monitor was going nuts, for lack of a better word?"

Before I could explain, Grace cuts in and saves the day. "She got really upset at the thought of Christian being dead. The heart monitors are rather sensitive."

I could see Taylor didn't believe her. I knew I should tell him. It is for my protection as well as the baby's. If I told Taylor then I'd have to make sure I told Christian as soon as he comes back.

Carrick, Elliot, and Grace kissed my forehead before going back to the living room. Sawyer made sure they were gone before shutting the door and rejoining Taylor at the end of the bed. "Give me a second," I muttered and pulled out the blackberry.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Important Matters

Date: June 17, 2011 10:10

To: Christian Grey

Christian, please, if you get this I need you to call me. There are important matters to discuss once you arrive back at Escala.

I love you.

A x

Taking a deep breath, I mustered up the courage to tell them the state at which I find myself in. "I'm pregnant." Sawyer's eyes widen, but Taylor stays void of any and all emotion. "I know this means you'll probably be adding more security and keeping me in view at all times. I just need to know that you'll also be looking for Christian. He is what matters right now. There is no threat against me, so therefore I would like any available men searching for him."

"I will do everything in my power, Miss Steele," Taylor said and left with Sawyer.

As soon as I could no longer hear their footsteps, I pulled off the thing connecting me to the heart monitor and started to cry. I cried for myself, for the baby, and especially Christian. I didn't mean to, but I cried myself to sleep that night.

In the morning I called Christian's cell phone just so I could hear his voice. It, once again, made my stomach flip and I ended up launching myself in the direction of the bathroom. After an hour of throwing up water and dry heaving, I wrapped Christian's robe around myself and padded down to the kitchen where Gail had already made breakfast. Unfortunately, the smell made me sick to my stomach and I found myself back on the floor of the bathroom, resting my head against the cool glass bowl. After yet another hour, I tried for food again. This time, I was able to walk to the kitchen and sit down without having to go to the bathroom and throw up. I smiled when I saw that Gail replaced the food with a simple bowl of granola. If Christian were here he'd tell me to eat the entire bowl … maybe I should. It wouldn't hurt considering I didn't eat dinner.

Gail came in to check on me when I was halfway through the bowl of granola to inform me that José was still sleeping. Shit! I had totally forgotten that José was staying over. I am such a terrible host.

Instead of waking him up, I decided to let him sleep. We could hang out as soon as he ate breakfast. With that problem solved, my mind drifted. I sighed and placed my hand on my stomach. In nine months there would be a mini me or mini Christian in the apartment. How is he going to handle it when I tell him? I don't know what I'll do if he freaks out.

It wasn't long after I finished my granola that José woke up. I was laying on the couch, absentmindedly drawing circles on my flat stomach. The flat stomach that wouldn't stay flat for long. That brought horrible thoughts and images to my mind. I'll be all fat. José came to stand next to me. In just his boxers. Christian is going to kill him.

"José! What on earth are you doing? Get some clothes on!" I whispered, not wanting to alert Taylor or Sawyer. José would definitely be thrown out then.

"Come on, Ana. He's not here anymore, you don't have to worry about him."

I opened my mouth to tell him to get out, but I was interrupted by the door being thrown open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all those who reviewed :)**

**I wasn't going to make it Christian at first, it was supposed to just be Elliot, but I was able to get more out of this. Also, I apologize for any mess ups made seeing as I did not go through and edit the entire thing. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that relates to Fifty Shades and there will be some sentences used from Fifty Shades darker in this chapter **

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I sat up in an instant and my head snapped in the direction of the door. There Christian Grey stood in all of his glory. He was back. Happiness and joy pulsed through me. Christian stood in the threshold breathing heavily. A fire blazed in his eyes and his entire body was tense. Behind him stood Elliot, who looked just as angry. José's eyes narrowed and he grabbed me by the hair causing me to cry out. He tilted my face up and crashed his lips on mine. I tried pushing him away to which I was unsuccessful, but luckily he was ripped away from me by none other than my boyfriend himself. My heart hammers in my chest. Christian stood above me, blindly throwing José to the side. He gazed at me and his eyes softened.

"Well this isn't how I pictured my welcome home would be," he teased, although his voice was colder.

Tears sprung in my eyes and I launched myself at him. He caught me effortlessly and I sobbed into his neck, only half aware that Elliot was currently beating up my ex-friend. There was a crash and I heard Elliot spit out, "I trusted you to look after Ana for me while I went out with Taylor to go find my brother. Instead of you comforting her, I find you trying to get into her panties!" Just like Christian would say. "Get out of this apartment and don't you _ever_ think about showing your face again. You better hide yourself well, Mr. Rodriguez, because when my brother is done comforting his fiance, he's not going to let you live to see another day." Fiance? He told Elliot? How does he know I said yes? Does that mean he opened his gift?

Christian tightened his grip on me and placed kisses on the crown of my head. "Oh, Ana," he whispers while stroking my hair. I begin in cry even harder. It wasn't even an entire day that he was gone and my heart ached. I cannot begin to imagine what I would have done if he were gone more than one day.

I sniffle and pull away, only to be crushed against his chest. Unfortunately, my morning sickness decides to kick in and I forcefully rip myself from his grasp. Only, I didn't make it to the bathroom. I fell to my knees in the hallway and threw up everything in my stomach. Tears trickled down my cheeks as the vomit burned and clawed its way up my throat. I felt strong hands run up my back and grasp my hair. I should start wearing my hair up now if this is going to be a regular thing. "Okay, you're okay," Christian murmured. He rubs my back soothingly and my chest heaves from the crying. "Elliot, get Gail. I need her to clean this up while I take Anastasia to get washed up."

Christian picks me up carefully and carries me bridle style into our room. "Christian," I start but he shushes me. I frown. "No, Christian I need to tell you something."

He gently lays me down on the bed and cups my face in his hands. "Baby, what could you possibly want to tell me? Can we not just get you cleaned up and then spend time together?" I close my eyes and take a deep breath. If he freaks I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I should wait. "Ana?"

"I'm pregnant," I mumble.

"I'm sorry could you repeat that?" His eyes were wide.

Louder and more confident, I say, "Christian, we're going to be parents."All of the blood rushes out of his face and he takes a seat on the bed. I sit up quickly, alarmed. "Christian?" I whisper. "Please say something."

He turns his head slowly, a grin on his face. Christian places his forehead against mine and whispers happily, "We're going to be parents."

"You're not mad? You're not going to leave us?"

Christian looks at me like I've got two heads. "Where would you get that idea? Of course, I'm not going to leave."

Once again, I launch myself at him with happy tears streaming down my face. "Really? Oh, Christian!" I pepper his face with kisses.

"Now how about a birthday shower?"

I would have totally forgotten had he not brought that up. "Wait! I have something for you."

He arched an eyebrow. "So the pregnancy wasn't my gift? Neither was the key chain?"I graced him with a smile and shook my head before leaning over the side of the bed and pulling out his wrapped gift. I hand it to him and he opens it. It's a solar powered toy helicopter. Christian takes it out of the box and goes over to the window. The blades start to spin and he grins like a child on Christmas morning. "Thank you, Ana. I love all three of my gifts."

"Well, I wasn't sure what to get you. So I figured I would give myself to you along with a toy helicopter. The baby was just a bonus."

Suddenly, my phone begins to ring. It's Grace. I answer immediately. "Grace?"

"Is it really true?" she asks, nervous. "Is Christian really home?"

I began to nod, but then realize she cannot see me. "It's true."

"The both of you will be here at noon and I don't want an argument."

"I will make sure we're at Bellevue by noon." Christian looks at me in question. As soon as Grace hangs up, I tell Christian to get ready. "We should go take a shower and get dressed."

Christian nods and heads off to the bathroom. I join him moments later. "I can't wait until you're showing, future Mrs. Grey."

We arrive at in Bellevue by eleven thirty and are inside the house by eleven forty. Inside we are greeted by the entire Grey family plus Kate and Ethan. I stand off to the side while my fiance is hugged repeatedly by each family member. Unfortunately, I'm not kept out of things. Elliot grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug. "Welcome to the family," he whispers. "Forgot to mention that this morning. You seemed kind of busy with the throwing up." He pats my stomach. "Congratulations." God. This guys knows everything. He grins cheekily at me before taking his girlfriend's hand and pulling her away.

After greeting the Grey's, Christian pulls me off to the side, but before he could get one word out I ask him a question. "Why were you so angry this morning? You couldn't have possibly known about Jose."

"Actually, Miss Steele, I knew about him. Taylor had the iPad with him and neither I nor Elliot trusted him alone with you. We were right to say the least. Now on to what I was going to say. You don't have to stay in with us if you don't want to. The party might be overwhelming-"

"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good party. Especially one thrown by the Greys."

Christian chuckles. "Then let us go. I would like to announce a few things."

Hand in hand, Christian leads us to the living room. Crap. There are so many people here. There are people I know: the Greys, Dr. Flynn and his wife, Ethan and Kate, Mac from the boat and ... my heart sinks. It's Mrs. Robinson. She strides over to us. "Christian, I was so worried," she croons.

"I'm fine, Elena," he mutters rather coolly. My inner goddess fist pumps. He put his arm around me and Mrs. Robinson looks at me as if noticing that I was there with them.

"Ana," she purrs. "You look lovely, dear."

"Elena," I purr back. "Thank you."

I catch Graces eye and she frowns. Christian clears his throat. "I need to make an announcement. Everyone," Christian calls. He waits for a moment until the buzz in the room dies down and all eyes are on him. "Thank you all for coming today. I have to say, I wasn't expecting this, and it was quite the surprise. Ros and I had quite a close call yesterday and I'm happy to be standing here alive and in one piece. I'm especially glad to be able to share this wonderful news with you." He pulls me closer. "This beautiful women, Anastasia Rose Steele, has graciously accepted my marriage proposal. Not only has she consented my proposal, but she gave me the best news anyone could receive after a rather close call. Anastasia Rose Steele, soon to be Mrs. Christian Grey, is carrying my child. I thought you'd all like to be the first to know." Gasps of astonishment as well as cheers erupted from the room.

"You'll soon be mine."

"I am already," I whisper.

"Legally," he mouths at me and gives me a wicked grin.

Soon enough, I am being hugged and kissed by all of the Greys. "Oh this is perfect!" Grace gushed. "With the baby on the way you'll want to get married soon."

"Have you thought about a date for the wedding? Or a location at the very least?" Mia asks.

"Well no," I said. "I'd rather not overwhelm my fiance on his birthday. He only just got back this morning. It'll definitely be a little while before we get married."

Mia takes my hand and drags me off into another room. "As you know, Ethan and I met recently, thanks to you." She beams at me.

"Yes." Where the hell is she going with this?

"Ana—he doesn't want to date me." She pouts.

"Oh." I blink at her, stunned, and I think, Maybe he's just not that into you.

"Look, that sounded all wrong. He doesn't want to date because his sister is going out with my brother. You know—he thinks it's all kind of incestuous. But I know he likes me. What can I do?"

"Oh, I see," I mutter, trying to buy myself some time. What can I say? "Can you agree to be friends and give it some time? I mean you've only just met him."

Mia arches a brow. "And you only met my brother a few weeks ago. Now look at you. Getting married and carrying his child." So maybe that wasn't the right thing to say.

"What I mean is, take some time to be his friend. Go with that and talk this over with Ethan. Also try talking with Kate. She knows her brother best." Mia grins at me, thanks me, and kisses my cheek before scampering off.

After she is out of the room and I am about to leave, Elena saunters into the room looking furious. Oh crap.

"Ana," she sneers. Shit. This isn't good.

My stomach starts to churn and all I could think was, Not now. "Elena," my voice is confident, yet small.

"I would offer you my heartfelt congratulations, but I think that would be inappropriate." She stares hauntingly at me.

"I don't want your fake congratulations, Elena. I'm actually disappointed to see you here. I'd rather you hadn't come. Now, if you would excuse me I have a fiance to get back to." I start to leave but I'm pulled back by Elena, who grabbed my arm roughly.

"He'll leave your sorry ass behind, Miss Gold-digger. He has needs that you cannot fulfill. He'll realize what he's done after you take all of what he's worth, but I won't let that happen."

That's it. I raise my hand, but my stomach has other ideas. Unfortunately for her, her dress gets ruined by my vomit that is now plastered all over her front. I fall to the ground, only to be caught by none other than Christian. "What is going on here?"

"That gold digger threw up all over me," Elena sneered. "She yelled at me for no reason and then threw up all over my dress. She's not right for you, Christian."

Christian is livid. "Don't you dare talk about the mother of my child that way. You know nothing of my _needs, _Elena."_  
_

"I was the best thing that ever happened to you," she hisses. "Look at you now. One of the richest, most successful, entrepreneurs in the US—controlled, driven—you need nothing. You are master of your universe."

"You loved it, Christian, don't try and kid yourself. You were on the road to self-destruction, and I saved you from that, saved you from a life behind bars. Believe me, baby, that's where you would have ended up. I taught you everything you know, everything you need."

"You taught me how to fuck, Elena. But it's empty, like you. No wonder Linc left." Bile rises in my mouth once again and I fight the urge to throw up all over her once again even though it would be entertaining to watch her flip out.

"You never once held me," Christian whispers. "You never once said you loved me." She narrows her eyes. "Love is for fools, Christian."

"Get out of my house." Grace's implacable, furious voice startles us. Three heads swing rapidly to where Grace stands on the threshold of the room. "I want you gone, you whore. I want you out of this house now or I will see to it that you are removed from the premises." Once Elena is gone, Grace turns to us, but doesn't say anything. "Ana, can you please give Christian and I a moment?"

I nod and leave the room silently. Slowly I head up to Christian's old room. When I get there, I lay on the bed, close my eyes, and drape my arm over them. It's been a really long day. After ten minutes, I decide to go find Christian. I find him outside the door. He looks strained.

"It's been a long day hasn't it?" he asks. I nod. "Then I'll make this really quick. Will you come with me?"

Christian and I walk in silence to what looks to be the boat house. I look at him in confusion, but his face doesn't give anything away. "Christian, what are we doing here?"

He ignores me and leads me up the steps to the second floor. I gape at the sight in front of are flowers everywhere. Someone has created a magical bower of beautiful wild meadow flowers mixed with glowing fairy lights and miniature lanterns that glow soft and pale round the room.

My face whips round to meet his, and he's gazing at me, his expression unreadable.

He shrugs.

"You wanted hearts and flowers," he murmurs. "You have my heart. And a piece of me." He places his hand on my his inside jacket pocket he produces a ring and gazes up at me, his eyes bright gray and raw, full of emotion. "Anastasia Steele. I love you. I want to love, cherish, and protect you for the rest of my life. Be mine. Always. Share my life with me. Marry me." I blink down at him as my tears fall. My Fifty, my man. I love him so, and all I can say as the tidal wave of emotion hits me is, "Yes." I'm already carrying his child. There's not much else I could say. Not that I'd want to.

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**A/N You guys are awesome! Please feel free to review. They're motivation to us writers :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you again to those who reviewed. It means so much! I did not get to edit the chapter so don't think too badly of me. **

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**CHRISTIAN POV**

"Mr. Rodriquez … would you mind explaining to me the intentions you had with my _pregnant fiancée_ while I was missing?" I ask as I finish tightening the ropes that are situated around his torso. "After all I did for you. I allowed you to stay in my home, take Ana out for drinks, and brought Ana to your gallery showing. How did you repay me? By forcing my fiancée into something she did not want. What do you have to say for yourself?"

José cowers under my glare. "She wants me," he spits. "She's just too scared of you. But don't worry," José cackles. "Once you realize your true feelings toward the_ baby, _you'll dump her like trash and she'll come running to me. Are you prepared to take care of the baby, Mr. Grey? Getting up at random times during the night to feed it, never getting any time with Ana, and fighting constantly because of the lack of sleep. _Are you prepared, Mr. Grey?_"

Shock rocks through me. I didn't think about any of that. I am happy that she's carrying my baby, but am I really ready for this? Am I prepared to lose sleep? Lose time with my beautiful wife? After I deal with Mr. Rodriguez, I'm going to have to think deeply about what this entails. After staring at him for a few moments, I decide what I'm going to do.

"Mr. Rodriquez, I gave you a chance to be friends with my fiancée, but you decided to ruin the friendship with your hormonal actions." My fist connects with his face. "If you _ever _come within one hundred feet of Anastasia again, you will wish you hadn't." I connect my fist with his face a few more times and break his arm before motioning to Taylor to get him out of my sight.

I would have inflicted more damage, but I feel Ana would not have appreciated it. Taylor drags José out of my view and I pull my Blackberry out of my pocket and dial Ana's number.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Hello, baby, how're you feeling? Have you thrown up at all since this morning?" My stomach churns anxiously at the thought of my unborn child.

Ana sighs. Not a good sign. "A couple of times this hour actually. Hailey kept getting Sawyer which was making Sawyer anxious. He wanted to call you, but I know you said you had a very important meeting to get to."

I run a hand through my hair. "I would have postponed the meeting, Ana. You're my number one priority."

"I've got to go, but I promise to call you as soon as I'm off work. I love you too."

"I love you too. Laters, baby," I say right before she hangs up. I seek out Taylor. "I'm going out for a drink."

Taylor looks at me questioningly. "But Sir─"

I shake my head. "I have to be alone."

"Yes, Sir," he says with obvious reluctance.

The Mile High Club VIP section is empty and reclusive, perfect for my current mood. I order two gin tonics and an entire bottle of vodka. I'll be needing it with the way my thoughts are running wild.

Am I ready to have a baby? Ana and I's relationship has escalated quite rapidly. Are we really ready for this? Am _I_ ready for this? I down the two gin tonics and open the bottle of vodka. She's too young to be having a baby in my opinion. Why weren't we more careful?

Why didn't she do anything? Why didn't Ana make sure this didn't happen? Ana should have had more checkups with Dr. Greene. There are ways we could have prevented this. Neither of us are ready. Maybe … No. I could never ask her to get an abortion. _Fucking asshole. How could you even think like that? This is your fucking child too. _

Fuck! Why the fuck does this have to be so hard?

**Ana POV**

"Mr. Grey isn't seeing anyone right now," Taylor says in a hushed tone, looking worried and sad.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Not even his pregnant fiancée?" Taylor closes his eyes and shakes his head. I take a sharp breath. "I see." Angry and emotional, I motion to Sawyer who is standing against the hallway wall. "Come, Sawyer, we're going out." I start to walk off.

Taylor steps toward me and grabs my wrist. "Miss Steele, I don't think-"

Ripping my wrist away from him, I spin around on my heel. "I am going out. Don't bother looking for us because you won't be able to find us. As for Christian ... Don't bother telling him I was here. If he really wanted any of this things would be different right now." Taylor looks absolutely torn.

"Please, Miss Steele, think twice about this. Mr. Grey will be destroyed."

Tears sting in my eyes. "_He'll be destroyed_?" I give a choked laugh. "How the hell do you think I feel right now? He's ignored me for two days! I thought he just had a ton of work, but then I realized he'd never go a day without seeing me. Now I can't even go into his office to see him because he doesn't want to see me!" I huff, trying not to cry. "Sawyer, let's go," I sniffle.

Sawyer obediently follows me to the Audi and climbs into the driver's seat. I climb into the back and try to fight the waves of oncoming tears, but it's close to impossible. My hormones are raging and my emotions are scattered. I'm scared that Christian will leave, I'm upset because he's ignoring me, and I'm angry because he won't confine in me. I sob and run a hand through my messy hair. Can't anything go right? Maybe we just need a few days away from each other. Taylor won't appreciate it, but it might help in the long run.

"Bring me to Kate's," I instruct Sawyer, who nods at me through the mirror.

Kate shakes her head sadly at me when she opens the door. I sob and launch myself into her arms. "Come inside, Ana," she orders softly and pulls me inside, leaving Sawyer to shut the door.

Elliot is sitting on the couch but leaps up when he sees me in Kate's arms. "Oh hey, none of that. What's wrong? Is the baby okay? Are you okay?"

He tugs me out of Kate's arms and envelops me in his where I cry even harder. Elliot carefully lifts me into his arms and sits with me on the couch. Kate brushes a few strands of my hair back, her eyes shine with worry. "Please tell us what's wrong, Ana."

Sniffling, I shift so I'm in between the two of them. "Christian ... he's been ignoring me and I don't know what to do about it. It hurts that he won't let me see him. I need him." I put my hand on my still flat stomach. "The baby needs him."

"Why don't you go on a mini vacation?" Kate suggests. "Maybe go see Ray or even your mom. Either one of them would love to see you. Especially with the news speculating. I'm sure they've seen things about the baby."

I nod. "Sawyer and I will be going to Georgia then. Some sun is just what I need. Maybe I'll invite Ray... Crap! Christian will know where we went."

Elliot shakes his head. "I'll pay for the tickets and I'll even pay for a ticket for Ray. He'd love to spend time with you. Kate and I will make sure Christian doesn't know where you went. It'll make him realize what a fool he's been and he'll be begging for you."

"Thank you guys," I sniffle. "I-I don't want to hurt him, b-but it just hurts to be around him when he doesn't want even want to talk to me or see me for that matter."

Kate shakes her head and in her Kate fashion, she rolls her eyes. "He should be hurting after all you're going through. You're carrying his child! In nine months you'll be popping out a mini Grey and that's going to hurt like hell. After your mini vacation and you're working it out, he better be good to you or I'll kill him."

Sawyer is very nervous. That much I can tell. He keeps pacing back and forth in front of me and Ray. We're currently waiting to board our plane to Georgia and I've already thrown up twice. I'm not sure if it's nerves or just morning sickness, but it's bad. Sawyer looks about ready to throw me over his shoulder and bring me back to the safety of Escala. Ray was able to convince him not to and that this was something that I needed.

Ray chuckles. "I think your personal security might explode … Will that fiancé of yours fire him when you get back?" Yes I told Ray what was going on. He was asking questions and I felt that he should know.

I rub my hand over my face and sigh. "Not if I have anything to say about it … I don't know what to do," I sigh again. "Christian is probably ignoring me because he doesn't know how to tell me that he no longer wants this. That he made a mistake in impregnating me and asking me to marry him."

With obvious alarm, both Ray and Sawyer look at me sharply. "Don't ever say that, Miss Steele," Sawyer says, suddenly standing directly in front of me. "Mr. Grey has an undying love for you. He would give up everything he has for you. I don't know why he has been ignoring you, but I do know that there is a legitimate reason behind it."

"Luke is right, Annie. I've seen the way he looks at you. There's got to be a good reason he's ignoring you. Given, he shouldn't be ignoring you in the first place. Both of you should be talking it out."

"_Flight 18 to Georgia now boarding,"_ interrupts our conversation, but leaves me thinking. Oh Fifty. What's wrong?

As soon as we're sitting down (in nice second class seats), I speak my mind. "Should I have not left then? Maybe I should have stayed to talk it out."

Sawyer shakes his head. "By the look on Jason's face, Mr. Grey wasn't going to be letting you see him any time soon."

"What you need is a break," Ray adds with a nod from Sawyer. "And a break you will get. How long are we staying in Georgia?"

"Only a week. Paparazzi will go nuts when they realize I disappeared from their radar. It won't take them long albeit." I stop speaking for a few moments, gathering my thoughts. "Christian's going to lose it when he finds out. We'll be in major trouble for sure."

Ray shrugs. "Not if you explain why you did it." That's going to be hard. Christian will be pissed and unwilling to cooperate … if he even still cares. They say he does, but the way I see it, he doesn't want this. I should have seen it. My inner goddess shakes her head sadly. Christian went from a BDSM life style to a 'vanilla' relationship. It's too soon, but I am definitely not giving up on this baby, this mini Grey.

* * *

**Before you think too badly about Ana, remember that she's pretty much a hormonal mess and she doesn't know what's going on with Christian. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Christian POV**

_Dear Christian,_

_I am only being a good friend when I convey this to you. You are making the biggest mistake of your life. Anastasia Steele became pregnant on purpose, to get money from you. If you pay her off now, you will not have to worry about repercussions. If you do not, you will forever damage the child she births, and the insufferable child will take your money like its good for nothing, gold digger mother._

_There is still time to end this. Love is for fools and surely, you are no fool. Unless, of course, you think you are in love with the gold digger. Then you really are a fool. You do not see what I do. She wants money and luxury. When she gets what she wants she is going to leave. Just remember I will be there for you when you realize your mistake._

_Your dearest friend,_

_Elena_

This fucking letter. I've stared at it for a day and a half not knowing what to do. Will I really be a terrible father? Will I ruin our baby? Ana's not a gold digger. I know that for fucking damn sure. But will she leave when she realizes how bad of a father I will be? Ana has been calling me, but I just couldn't answer it. I'm fearful of what will happen when I tell her about the letter. Will she confirm my worst fears?

I slam my hand on my desk. Fuck! I don't think I have anything to worry about, but it fucking scares me that there's a possibility. I throw my office door open and search for Taylor. Taylor stands less than ten feet away looking conflicted.

"Taylor, we're going to SIP," I say and start for the elevator.

He tries to hide the emotion that flickers on his face, but fails miserably. "Sir, Miss Steele is not …" He stops himself, unsure of how to go on. "Miss Steele is not at SIP."

I arch my brow. "Where the fuck is she, Taylor, if she's not at SIP? And why was I not informed of her departure?"

"Sir, she left. Miss Steele said not to bother looking for her because we would not find her." My entire would stops and my heart drops. "I had Welch track her and Sawyer, but it says she is at Miss Kavanagh's. Miss Steele must know about the tracking devices because in all honesty I do not believe she is at the apartment."

She left. I ignored her and she left. I didn't mean to, but I did and she left. Fucking left! Was that her breaking point? Did I push her passed it? "Find her!" I shout and rush toward the elevator.

Taylor meets me in the elevator looking grim. "Sir, if I may ..."

"Speak freely, Taylor."

He sighs. "Sir, she was crushed. You made a dick move by ignoring her. You could have at least made an effort to see her. She's pregnant and emotional, very emotional. Miss Steele proved that earlier. She thinks you do not want this and you changed your mind. She said things would be different if you wanted this."

I run my hand through my hair. _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ _What have I done?_ What. Have. I. Done? "She really believes that I do not love her anymore?" My heart clenches. Oh Ana.

Taylor nods. "Welch has continued the search, of course, but he has yet to find them."

"We'll go to Kate then. If that was the last place Ana was then she should have some idea to Ana's whereabouts."

And she does. I stand in the foyer of the apartment clenching and unclenching my fists. Elliot and Kate stand in front of me defiantly. "She left a while ago and she won't be back for a couple of days. Ana needs a break and that's what she's getting. Don't have your goons look for her because she doesn't want to see you. There's a reason she left."

Fuck this shit. While blinking back tears, I go back to my car and slam the door after getting in. I ignore Elliot, who stands outside the apartment watching the Audi closely as Taylor pulls away from the curb.

All I can do is lay in bed once we arrive back at Escala. For two days, I lock myself away in Escala and wait for word on Ana. Gail has tried unsuccessfully to get me to sleep or even have an actual meal, telling me I need to in order to survive, but there's only one thing I need and that's Ana.

Later on the second day of my self entrapment, Elliot barges through my bedroom door. His eyes widen when they fall upon me. "You look like absolute shit, bro." I can only imagine what he must see. "This is hitting you harder than I thought it would. Have you even left since the other day?"

With a shake of my head, I respond. "You don't understand, Elliot. She is the air I breathe. I cannot live without her." I walk over to the balcony window.

"But she won't be gone forever," he says.

"She told Taylor that things would be different if I actually wanted this. She ... She also said that we shouldn't bother looking for her. What's that supposed to sound like to me, Elliot? She thinks I don't want any of this so she left. You don't need to soften the blow."

Elliot sighs. "I really shouldn't be telling you where she is, but man, I've never seen you cry before and watching you is tearing me apart. Ana is with her parents in Atlanta. I paid for three tickets for Ana, Sawyer, and Ray to visit Carla and Bob. Kate and I figured it would be good to get some sunshine. She needs some her time, but I can see now that this wasn't the way to go about it."

I side step toward the wall and throw a punch at it. "No shit that wasn't the fucking way." I pick up the phone and dial Taylor's number. "I need one ticket to Atlanta by tomorrow." I should at least give her some space. She did leave for _her time_.

"Yes, sir," he replies and I hang up.

"And you fucking knew?" I turn on Elliot.

Elliot throws his hands up in defense. "Hey, hey. Ana told me not to tell. I promised her I wouldn't give away her location."

"I'm your brother," I roar.

"And she made a point of you being a dick and ignoring her," he yells back. "Why the hell would you even think of ignoring her?"

"I didn't mean to."

**Ana POV**

"Ana! What on Earth are you doing here?" My mom hugs me tight.

I smile at her and reply while hugging Bob. "I'm on a mini vacation, a little me time if you would."

My mom arches her eyebrow. "And Christian was okay with this? You flying to the other side of the country in the state you are in?"

"How about we talk about this inside?"

Once Ray, Sawyer and I are settled in, we join Bob and my mom in the kitchen. They set out chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate. I take a seat and hold my mug tightly. "How are you, mom?"

"I'm great, but the real question is, how are _you_?"

"Pregnant and avoiding my fiancé."

My mom looks at me like I'm crazy. "Why?"

I sigh. "Things I don't want to talk about. Now if you don't mind I'd like to go lay down. I threw up practically all the way here." I take the plate of cookies and my hot chocolate and head back to my room. Maybe I was a bit rude and short with my mom. I sigh and run my hand over my face.

My phone starts to ring and I answer it without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Ana, honey, how are you? I've been trying to reach you all day."

Grace! "I've had it off all day. I'm sorry."

"Oh Ana, it's all right. I just wanted to know if you wanted to meet for brunch tomorrow."

What do I say? Do I lie or tell her the truth? "I'm not home exactly. I went to visit my mom. She wanted to see me and see how the pregnancy was going."

"But Christian is still at home."

Come on, Steele. "He had a lot of work and wanted me to take some time to relax."

"Ana," Grace says softly. "If my son has done anything ... You can tell me and I can speak with him. The two of you are unlike any couple I've ever met and I see the both of you going far. Please. If there's anything I can do—"

I smile. "Thank you, Grace. I'll let you know if there's anything. Please tell Carrick I said hello."

"I will, Ana. I'll check in later, okay?"

"Okay."

After getting a long night of rest, I find myself being woken up by my mom in the morning. She holds a tray of coffee, pancakes, and bacon. "So I was thinking," my mom starts, taking a seat on the side of my bed. "Maybe we could get your mind off of things and meet up with Ray's new girlfriend and her son. They're in town with family."

My eyes widen. "Why was I not told about this? Oh my god! This is awesome! And she has a son? What's his name? What's her name?"

My mom laughs. "Go ask Ray yourself. I'm sure he's been dying to tell you. You've been so busy lately."

I hand my mom the tray and jump from the bed before running downstairs. A girlfriend! A girlfriend who has a son! Oh my god! I find Ray sitting on the couch with Bob watching something on the TV. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!" I practically scream.

Ray laughs. "Well, her name is Livia Holcomb. She has a fifteen month old son, Gabriel."

"How long?"

"Three weeks."

I fall onto the couch and squeal. "I need to meet them today. Mom said they're in town so I would like to meet them."

Ray beams. "She's been dying to meet you."

"Sawyer!" I yell and he comes running into the living room.

"Yes, Miss Steele?"

I smile at my CPO sweetly. "Can we please go meet with Livia, Ray's girlfriend, and her son, Gabriel?"

He nods. "As long as it's here or somewhere I can secure easily."

"Absolutely," I say and run back to my room.

It isn't until two that we can meet with Livia and Gabriel. They end up coming to us. Livia has long blond hair and hazel eyes while her son has dirty blond hair and blue eyes. Gabriel is adorable! I take him into my arms and pepper his face with kisses. Livia and I talk for a while about her. I learn that she is a teacher at an elementary school and she is a former Naval officer.

Gabriel giggles at me when I start to make faces at him. I blow raspberries on his stomach while Livia and Ray sit on the couch watching us. Ray smiles at us. "You're going to be a great mother, Annie."

"You really are," Livia comments. "You're a natural."

That night as I lay in bed, I twist and turn, unable to sleep from the constant knocking on the front door. Who the hell could that be and why hasn't Sawyer, Ray, Bob, or my mom done anything about it yet? I groan and tentatively open my door, being sure not to make noise. Maybe something happened to Sawyer.

Although as soon as I'm at the bottom of the steps, I see Sawyer pacing in the living room while my parents and Bob sit on the couch. Muffled shouts could be heard through the door. Huh. I'd have thought shouts would be clearly heard. "Who's at the door and why is no one answering it?"

Sawyer stops his pacing and immediately looks at me. "Miss Steele, I would advise you not to open that door." Fright pulses through my veins, but then it's replaced by the familiar electricity that I feel whenever he's near. My head snaps to the door. How ... Never mind. He's a multi-billionaire who has the best security team in the world. I was stupid to think I could hide.

Emotion swells inside my body, fear, anxiety, joy, happiness. I gently peel open the door only to be swept into a bear hug by my gorgeous fiancé. He peppers my face with kisses. "Ana," he repeats over and over. When he finally pulls back I notice the tear stains on his cheeks. Oh my poor, poor Fifty. Why were you crying?

"I love you," he begins to repeat and place kisses my on lips. Tears begin to fall from his eyes. Alarmed, I quickly grab his face and kiss them away. "You said you wouldn't leave me," his voice is hoarse and raw with unshed tears.

My eyes widen. "You didn't want to speak to me or even see me. Two days, Christian. Two days!" Now I'm crying. "I thought that was your way of telling me you didn't want any part of this, that you chose wrong before."

"Oh Ana, my beautiful Ana. I would never leave you, let alone leave you in this condition. I ... The first day, I was working and had plans to see you that night, but then I received a letter." He quiets down and looks to the living room, which seems to have been free of people since I let him in. Christian pulls me into his arms and goes to the couch, laying on his back with me on his chest, his arms securely situated around me. "Elena sent it to me. I've been staring at it in horror for the past day, unsure of how to go about it. I didn't want to see you thinking once you saw the letter you'd realize that she was right. Maybe she is. I'm going to be a terrible fucking father. I'm going to fucking mess this kid up so fucking bad." He clenches his eyes shut, and I stroke his face softly and tenderly in hopes that he'll reopen his eyes.

"Hey, hey. Don't you ever say that. You're going to be an amazing father," I attempt to reassure him but he just continues.

"And when I realized that I'd been sitting there for the longest time, Taylor alerted me that you'd left. That we shouldn't bother looking for you." His eyes meet mine. "I thought you were gone for good, Ana."

My stomach clenches and bile rises in my throat as I think back to what I said to Taylor and how it must have sounded. He is totally right. The way I said it made it sound like I was never coming back.

"I'm a terrible fiancé for ignoring you and not telling you why. I'm so, so sorry. Tell me you forgive me."

Oh Fifty. "Of course I forgive you. And I'm sorry for the way I reacted. The way it sounded ... I'm so sorry."

He laughs without humor. "Both Taylor and I thought you were really gone. I didn't know what I was going to do, how I was going to get through it. My entire world crashed and burned. Without you my life is meaningless. You showed me so much, you taught me how to love. You're the fucking love of my life. You're having my baby for fuck's sake." He tightens his grip and kisses me softly. "You're having my baby," he whispers. Christian flips us over and runs his hand over my stomach. "Our baby is growing in there." For minutes we stay like this in silence. "Ana ... We can't let this happen again. I can't do that to you again. I'm such a fucking douchebag."

I giggle softly and stroke his hair. "I love you."

He's confused to say the least. Regardless, he moves so he's cradling me and nuzzles my hair. "I love you more."

We stay like this for a while and eventually I fall asleep. I awake to yelling coming from outside the door. Christian must have moved me back to the bedroom. I crawl out of bed and open the door to find Christian being a hard ass on Sawyer. Angrily, I stomp in between them and cross my arms.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I ask Christian.

"Informing Sawyer that I shall be removing him from—"

"You will do no such thing!" I hiss. "I was the one who dragged him along. Would you have rathered I'd gone unprotected? He was only doing his job and you will not be firing him. If I so much as hear that you've filed for it, I will make sure you wish you never did."

I could see in his eyes that he was proud, but what on earth was he proud of? Me standing up to him, defending my CPO? "As you wish, baby." Christian kisses my forehead before sauntering off in a better mood then he just was.

"Maybe he's the pregnant one," I mutter causing Sawyer to poorly hide a chuckle and a passing by Taylor to laugh outright.

"I heard that," he calls over his shoulder.

I stick my tongue out to his retreating back.

* * *

_**I don't know about you, but I feel it's a bit rushed and I'm going to apologize for that. It's my first time experimenting with this story line and I'm trying to do my best. Livia and Gabriel will be introduced more in the next chapter. This chapter was kind of a filler and to get my OTP together. Thank you all for the reviews! Keep 'em coming :) **_


	5. Chapter 5

"So this is Livia Holcomb?" Christian asks as her and her son come through the door.

"And her son Gabriel," I reply with a soft smile.

Christian and I would be babysitting Gabriel for the night so we had a feel of what we're getting into. Christian is a little hesitant, but I am all for it. I've babysat plenty of times. Ray and Livia are going on a double date with Bob and my mom. They'll be out all night doing who knows what. All I know is how I'll be spending my night.

"Make as much trouble for these two as possible," Livia says to Gabriel with a smile. "They need to learn these things."

Wide eyed, Christian takes him from Livia and we say our goodbyes. "So you ever do this before?" He asks.

"Of course," I laugh. "I take it you haven't?"

He shakes his head no and hands me Gabriel. I take Gabriel into the living room. Livia had said Gabriel doesn't really like to walk, but we were going to play a game to make walking more fun for him. I read in a baby book on the flight over that by fifteen months, babies should be walking well and trying to tackle going up the steps. I wonder why Gabriel doesn't want to.

I place Gabriel on the ground and start to set up a baby safe obstacle course. Christian watches me with amusement. Gabriel watches Christian curiously for a moment before crawling to him and tugging on his pant leg. Christian looks at him in surprise. This time it is I who watches in amusement. Gabriel reaches up to Christian.

"Up, Kistian, up."

Christian raises an eyebrow and walks a few paces to the right, bending down. "Only if you walk over to me."

Gabriel must really want Christian to pick him up because he pushes himself on his feet and steadies himself before cautiously going over to Christian. He stops in front of his knees and stares up at him. I watch as both Christian's and Gabriel's faces light up. Christian scoops Gabriel into his arms and Gabriel claps his hands, a smile never leaving his face.

I frown. Could there be an underlying cause for Gabriel's unwillingness to walk? Why would a curious baby not want to walk? My mind runs wild with the possibilities. I'll have to talk to Livia when she returns.

Gabriel throws his little arms around Christian's neck and squeals. I laugh and walk over to join them. Maybe there won't be a need for the obstacle course after all.

"Christian put him down and have him walk to you again."

Christian nods and places him on the ground before walking into the adjoining kitchen. "Come here, Gabriel."

Gabriel looks at me, nervousness shining in his eyes. I smile at him. "I'll come with you," I say. Which is obviously the perfect thing to say because he beams at me and starts to venture into the kitchen, looking back every so often to make sure I'm still following. When he sees Christian, his pace quickens a bit and he practically launches himself into my fiancé's outstretched arms.

Christian laughs with Gabriel and he walks over to me. Gabriel reaches for me. "Ana!" Christian hands him to me and I take him with ease.

Gabriel gives us no hassle for the rest of the time we're with him. At first he doesn't want to go to sleep, but Christian and I lay with him on the couch and watch Aladdin. Livia said it is Gabriel's favorite movie. Christian watches me the entire time, a smile tugging at his lips. Maybe it's because he thinks it's funny that I'm quietly singing along to every song, but hey if I want to sing 'Friend Like Me' then I will sing 'Friend Like Me'.

By the time Livia comes home, both Christian and Gabriel are dead asleep. Christian has Gabriel on his chest sleeping while his own head is on my lap. Aw! Christian is letting Gabriel touch him. So me and babies? I laugh quietly. Ray, Livia, my mom, and Bob walk into the house and pause to watch us in the living room.

My mom and Livia have hands over their mouths, hiding a smile. Ray and Bob just shake their heads. "How'd you manage to get both boys to sleep?" My mom asks.

I shrug. "Christian was awake while we watched Aladdin, but he laid down as soon as I turned on Tangled," I answer quietly.

Livia goes to scoop Gabriel off of Christian's chest, but I stop her immediately and slide Christian's head off my lap. I gently pick up the sleeping baby and hand him to his mother, ignoring the questioning gaze I receive.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?" I ask Livia.

She smiles at me. "Sure. What's going on?"

"When did Gabriel start showing signs of an unwillingness to walk?"

Livia paused for a second, trying to remember. "After the fifth time he went to his dad's. He was about nine months then. He was just beginning to get the hang of walking. It took him a while to find the courage to actually get up and walk. Gabriel still walks at home, but Rodger, his father, says he doesn't walk at his house."

Oh my. She really has no idea. Poor Gabriel. There's only one thing I can think of that would make him unwilling to walk as much. Suddenly, strong arms wrap around my waist causing me to jump. Christian kisses my temple and holds me tight in his arms.

"You never thought that was weird?"

"To be totally honest with you, no. I think he just realized he doesn't want to walk."

Livia walks away, almost as if slightly offended. I look up at Christian. "She had no idea, Christian! Rodger could be hurting Gabriel and that's why he doesn't want to walk."

Christian rubs my back. "Calm down, Ana. Maybe there's nothing going on."

"But there has to be an underlying cause!" I rush and grab my hair. "Christian, what if the poor baby is getting abused by his father?" Tears start to run down my face.

Christian swings me into his arms and carries me to the room we're staying in. As soon as we're laying down, I begin to sob. I don't even know why this is bothering me so much. Maybe Gabriel isn't being abused and he just doesn't want to walk. I have no idea why I'm so worked up about it. Christian doesn't question me and he just holds me close while stroking my hair. He continues this until I'm well past asleep.

We stand in front of the GEH private jet and my mom hugs me. "Don't forget to call and let me know what the wedding plans are."

"I won't forget, mom," I laugh and move on to Bob to say goodbye. When Ray, Christian, and I are in the private jet with Sawyer and Taylor, we all take our seats and buckle up for lift off. As soon as we're in the air, Christian gets a call and motions for Taylor and Sawyer to meet him on the office. He places a chaste kiss on my lips and follows suit leaving Ray and I alone.

Ray takes a seat next to me. "Dad," I begin but am interrupted by Ray.

"Engaged and pregnant, Annie?"

"I love him and he loves me," I retort.

Ray shakes his head. "Anyone with eyes can tell that, but I'm not ready to be a grandfather."

"You've nine months to prepare," I laugh.

He rolls his eyes. "Oh, Annie, what am I going to do with you?"

"Nothing." I smile. "Just be happy for us."

This time he speaks softly. "I am very happy for you. I just want you to be sure you want this."

"I've never wanted anything as much as I want this."

Ray seems content with this answer because he hums and then leans back and closes his eyes. Eventually he falls into a deep sleep. I don't blame him. It was nine o'clock at night when we left and now it's around midnight. Christian is still in his office with Taylor and Sawyer so I sit alone. After Ray had fallen asleep, I went over to the couch to lay down so I've been laying here for an hour. Occasionally a wave of nausea washes over me, but it's gone just as quickly as it came. At exactly twelve thirty, my stomach flips and I know that this time it won't settle. I run into the bathroom and begin to throw up.

When I think it's over, I lay on the cold floor. I hate throwing up. Why does it have to be all the time?

"Ana?" Christian calls worriedly from outside.

I want to get up and tell him I'm okay but my body feels so weak. Now I just to curl up and close my eyes. But unfortunately for me, the little one won't have it and I'm leaning over the toilet bowl throwing up again.

Christian must have a super sense because he has his hands wrapped around my waist in no time. "Oh, Ana," he murmurs. He rubs my back soothingly as I continue throwing up. He's so sweet.

Tears well in my eyes. I'm so sick of throwing up and it hasn't even been that long yet. Ugh why is this a part of pregnancy? When I'm able to stop, I lean back into his chest and close my eyes, sighing.

Christian kisses my forehead. "Let's get you cleaned up," he says and gently lifts me into a standing position. My legs are too shaky for me to walk myself so Christian chuckles and swings me back into his arms. Sawyer and Taylor are having a conversation with a now awake Ray and they watch Christian and I as we pass. Christian lays me gently on the bed and goes to the adjoining bathroom for a wet towel. "You look pale as fuck, baby."

"Thanks, Christian," I deadpan. "Because that's something to say to your pregnant fiancee."

His eyes widen. "I'm sorry, Ana."

This time I laugh. "It's okay." I kiss his cheek when his face is inches from mine.

Christian begins to softly stroke my face with the wet towel. "You're so beautiful," he murmurs softly. He places a kiss on my forehead and goes to grab my toothbrush. I sit up quickly, bile rising quickly in my throat. Christian is just coming out of the bathroom when I push past him and throw up yet again. He sighs, but sits behind me nevertheless. His legs sit flank me and he rubs my back and holds my hair out of my face.

When I think I'm done, I lay against Christian's chest. He runs his hands across my sides and lets them rest against my stomach. "How about we give Mommy a break? No more throwing up for a while." He traces circles and rests his head on my shoulder. "Mommy should also try going to sleep. We've about two more hours."

"Okay, I whisper. "But can Mommy ask that Daddy joins her?"

"Anything for Mommy. Let's get your teeth brushed first."

I smile and nod, allowing him to help me up. After brushing my teeth, Christian and I curl up under the covers.

* * *

_**So am I the only one that keeps rewatching the Fifty Shades trailer? I'm really excited. I don't like some of the casting and that they'll change a bunch, but I always get excited when a book I love goes on the big screen.**_

_**This was more of a filler chapter. And I apologize for this update taking so long... It turns out I've had it done for a while but I didn't know. I type these on my IPod but that doesn't have a word count so I had no idea how many words there were... I feel pretty stupid, but heyyy**_

_**Allllsssoooo the next chapter will be slower paced. Trust me I've got my reasons for these things **_


	6. Chapter 6

"Little Blip," I murmur as I stare at the ultrasound screen. Christian stands next to me, grasping my hand tightly as we watch the screen that Dr. Greene set up. It looks like a little blip. She wiggles the probe around more and we watch with fascination.

Christian brings our intertwined hands to his lips and kisses the back of my hand. "Thank you, Ana," his voice horse and raw.

Christian and I just sit in the Audi after the appointment. We are supposed to go to Ray's even though it's only been a few hours since we last saw him, but we are a little preoccupied being shocked. It feels so surreal. I keep my eyes locked with Christian's, trying to determine what he's thinking. There are so many emotions that it makes it overwhelming but I don't dare take my eyes away.

Eventually after another moment, Christian breaks the silence. "I fucking love you, Ana." He pulls me toward him and rests his forehead on mine. "You're carrying my child in there."

I beam at him. "Our child," I say which causes him to grin happily. "Little Blip."

"Little Blip? I was thinking more along the lines of Junior."

"Then Junior it is."

"But I like Little Blip too."

I chuckle and grab his hand. "So you and Ray are going to go fishing with Elliot, Ethan, and Carrick?"

Christian nods and brings our intertwined hands to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of my hand. "And you'll be with Mia, Kate, my mom, Livia, and Gabe doing whatever it is you girls will be doing ... What will you be doing?"

"If you must know, Mr. Grey, we will be going shopping for maternity clothes for when I'm showing and then spending the day walking around the mall."

He arches a brow. "I want Sawyer, Ryan, and Prescott with you at all times."

"And I want Taylor with you at all times."

Christian scowls. "I'm going to send Taylor with you."

This time I raise my eyebrow. "He needs to keep an eye on you."

"I'm looking after two now. I want Taylor with Sawyer walking you around. I don't need anyone. Us guys will be in the middle of a lake fishing."

"But what if something happens?" I rush. "You have to have Taylor with you!" I implore. Maybe some tears will work? I will tears into my eyes. "Please, Christian, do this for us. What if something were to happen to you because someone was waiting for you CPO to not be there? Little Blip and I need you, Christian," I whisper the last bit for extra effect.

Christian's eyes are wide as he takes me in. Tears threaten to fall for real when I finally realize that I really fear that. Oh. If something really happened to Christian just like when he went missing when Charlie Tango went down. "Ana, please don't cry." He wipes the tears from my cheeks. "If you want me to take Taylor then I will. Just don't cry."

I nod frantically and launch myself at him, a blubbering mess. "Don't ever leave us, Christian. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Ana, don't cry, please!" He rocks me and peppers my face in kisses. "I'm not going anywhere."

I sniffle. "Okay." After a couple of minutes, Christian sets me back in my own seat and buckles me up. "Christian, is it weird that I feel like I need you all the time? Like I'm overly attached to you?"

"That's not weird at all, Ana. Because that's exactly how I feel about you. You're the air I breathe, Ana. And there's no such thing as overly attached when it comes to you and I."

"I love you so much," I murmur.

Taylor rolls down the privacy screen. "Sir, are we ready?"

"Yes, Taylor."

Christian and I sit in a peaceful silence on the way to Ray's. In fact, it's so quiet and peaceful that it lulls me to sleep. When I wake it's by a gentle nudge. "Ana," he says. "Come on. We're here."

"Mm," I mumble and push him away only to be met with a laugh.

He sighs and pulls me toward the door. I'm about to get up, but he doesn't let me and carries me into Ray's house. "Is she okay?" I hear Grace ask.

Christian keeps walking and calls over his shoulder a 'yes'. He lays me down on the bed and chuckles when he sees me grab a pillow and curl up to sleep again. "Are you that tired, baby?"

"Mmmmm," I mumble.

"No!" Kate yells, throwing the door open. "You will not go to sleep!"

I scream when she grabs my feet. "Let me nap until it's time to go!"

Then Elliot joins the mix. "Come on, Katie. Leave Ana alone."

Christian says something quietly making the room totally silent. Suddenly, Christian's arms are wrapped around me and he's turning me toward him. "But don't you have to go?"

"I'm going to lay with my fiancée until it's time."

"Okay," I whisper and snuggle into his chest.

As it is, I don't fall asleep and I just lay there while Christian runs his finger up and down my spine. Before I know it, it's time for him to leave. He kisses my forehead lovingly. "Stay safe, Ana. I'll see you in a few hours."

"I love you," I whisper as he opens the door.

I can hear the smile in his voice as he replies. "I love you too, baby."

Well this should be fun. It'll be the first time in a week that I'm not attached to Christian's side. Sure there's no reason for me to miss him immensely, but I will anyway. I sigh and climb out of bed, checking the mirror before heading down to the living room. Grace comes to greet me first, a warming smile settled on her face.

"How are you, my dear?"

I smile. "I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. There's actually been a change of plans of a sort. Livia couldn't come because she couldn't get off work, so it'll just be the four of us."

"Oh that's okay," I say. "Maybe another day."

Grace nods. "We still want to take you to the mall if you're feeling up to it. Christian said you fell asleep in the car?"

I laugh. "I did." After we talked about the OBGYN visit. "Oh! I totally forgot about the pictures." I turn on my heel and go back to the room to get my purse. Hopefully Christian brought that in too. Although after one look around the room, I realize that he didn't.

"Miss Steele?" Sawyer interrupts my search. He's holding up my purse. Yes! I beam at him and take my purse.

"Thank you, Sawyer."

Sawyer nods his understanding. "Mr. Grey left it in the kitchen. He brought it in after he found it in the Audi."

Should I show Sawyer the picture? Would he care? Yes, he would, I think. "Do you want to see a picture of the baby?"

He's definitely shocked. Sawyer stares at me for a moment before answering. "I-I would love to, Miss Steele."

I dig through the purse for the picture. When I find it, I hand it to Sawyer. "That's the baby," I say pointing to Little Blip.

Sawyer grins. "Well would you look at that. There's a mini Grey growing in your stomach."

"Did you not believe me?" I chuckle.

He shrugs. "It's more real now, seeing the picture. It's weird because I'm technically protecting two of you, but there's only one person with me."

"That's one way to think about it," I reply as he follows me back to the living room.

"Is that the baby?" Mia can barely contain her excitement.

I nod and smile, placing a hand on my stomach. "It is."

"We can look at it while we're on our way to the mall. We have a dinner reservation later with the guys," Grace says and so we all head out to the car.

Kate hands me another shirt. "Come on, Ana. There's got to be a shirt that you like. They're not going to fit you right now. These are for when you're showing."

I don't want to be fat! These shirts prove I'm going to be fat and ugly. Christian's not going to like me anymore. "I don't want to do this anymore, Kate!" I huff and put the shirt back on the rack. Oh Little Blip. It looks like we'll just let some else shop for us when it's time.

Shopping is frustrating and boring. "I'm going to the bathroom," I sigh and leave the store.

"Ana!" Kate shouts after me.

I wave her off and continue toward the bathroom with Prescott on my heels. Instead of going into the regular bathroom with all the stalls, I walk into the family bathroom and lock the door. I don't want to shop anymore. I pull out my cellphone and text Christian.

_This is boring. I miss you._

After about ten minutes and five knocks on the door, I put the phone away because he's not going to text back. There's no reception in the middle of a lake. I sigh and open the door. Although instead of seeing Prescott, it's Sawyer I find in front of me. "Miss Steele, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I murmur and wrap my arms around myself. "I just miss Christian."

Sawyer follows suit when I walk away from the bathrooms. "There's only two more hours until we have to meet with the others."

I stop and look at Sawyer. "I take it you called Taylor and told him I wasn't coming out of the bathroom?"

At least he has the decency to look sheepish. "I had to, Miss Steele."

"Whatever," I shrug. "It's your job to report things. It's okay."

"Dr. Grey suggested getting something to eat."

I begin walking again. "Are they at the food court then?"

"No, none of them were hungry but she thought you would be. They're in another store."

"Which store?"

"I'm not sure, Miss Steele." Yeah, uh huh. Why's he lying? Of course he knows where they are. But hey, if he's not telling me maybe there's a reason.

I shrug again and head off in the direction of the food court. I want some ice cream. Sawyer follows wordlessly and stands off to the side when I order my swirl ice cream in a waffle cone.

"Hey, Sawyer, can we go get French fries now?"

He nods and we go over to the McDonalds. I order the fries and then join him in the pick up line. We don't have to wait long, and after I receive my fries, I stick fries into my ice cream until I can't. Then I hand the rest to Sawyer. "You can have the rest if you'd like."

"No thank you, Miss Steele."

I roll my eyes. "Eat the damn fries, Sawyer."

Sawyer chuckles. "Yes, Miss Steele."

As we are walking to wherever it is Kate and the others are, Sawyer does as I say and eats the fries. "You're not going to get in trouble for eating on the job, are you?" I ask, concerned. I don't want to get him in trouble.

When the girls and I walk into the restaurant, Christian, Elliot, Carrick, Ray, and Ethan stand politely. I beeline for Christian immediately. He takes me into his arms and I melt into him. The others sit and I'm still in Christian's arms. Honestly, I don't want him to let go of me. If I could stay in his arms all the time I would. Why am I getting so attached? Sometimes I feel like I won't last without him and I have no idea why. It's weird wanting to be with someone like that. Yeah, sure we're engaged, but I don't think normal couples are attached at the hip.

Christian pulls away and cups my face with his right hand. "I got your text and was told by Taylor that you locked yourself in the bathroom." His brows furrow in concern. "Are you okay?"

I lean into his hand. "I just missed you."

He raises an eyebrow. "But locking yourself in the bathroom for ten minutes?"

"I didn't want to shop for maternity clothes anymore," I mumble.

Christian rolls his eyes. "Oh, Ana, what am I going to do with you?"

"I have a couple of ideas," I wink and take my seat.

Without responding, Christian pushes in my chair and takes his seat next to me. "So do I."

"And that's how the baby was conceived," Elliot snorted.

* * *

_**Hi guys! This was another filler chapter. The fun starts next ;) A bunch of you said you've seen the trailer tons of times and now I know I'm not the only crazy one out there. Have you guys seen the new clips? **_

_**Your reviews are much appreciated! **_


	7. Chapter 7

Christian grunts as he roughly thrusts into me. My arms are wrapped around his neck for support, but I'm still jolting. I moan his name, arching my back. "Come for me, baby," he whispers huskily in my ear.

I cry out as I clench around him. Christian gives one more thrust before letting go and we both orgasm simultaneously. He rolls off me and I pant heavily. I'm exhausted, but still so horny. Ugh. Christian's going to enjoy this now that I'll be hornier than usual.

Christian raises his eyebrows when I roll on top of him. "Another go?" He chuckles when I give him a sly grin.

I lift myself up and he helps by adjusting himself so he can just slide right in. He grasps a hold of my hips and I drop onto him. A moan escapes both of our lips as I start to move. He tastes of white wine and chicken parm when I kiss him. Just when I'm about to pull away, he cups my face in his hand and stares steadily into my eyes. I start to say something when he he thrusts up hard and fast making my eyes go wide. He flips us over and slows his thrusts making them more sensual and gentle.

"Faster," I grunt.

He buries his face in my neck and continues going slow. "Let me love you," he whispers taking me by surprise.

With wide eyes I nod. "Okay," I whisper back.

A smile tugs at his lips and he captures my lips in an embrace. He continues to make love to me while placing kisses upon my body. Christian's mouth closes over my nipple and my back arches. "Mmm."

"I love you," I whisper as we're laying on our bed, our bodies intertwined.

Christian breathes in deeply before responding. "I love you too." He runs his fingers along the side of my body giving me goosebumps. "I won't be here when you wake up."

I sigh. "Work?"

He nods. "I have an early meeting, but I'll be at SIP around noon. Are you okay with eating in?"

"How's Chinese sound?"

"Perfect." He kisses me softly.

I place my hand on his chest, above his heart and absentmindedly draw circles with my finger. It's been two weeks since we had gone to Ray's and since then I've managed to find a wedding dress. We asked Grace if we could hold the wedding at her house and she was ecstatic. She's more than willing to let us have our wedding there.

By the time I fall asleep it's almost morning. Christian fell asleep before me, of course. I had the biggest headache and felt more sick then I ever have. Fortunately for me I didn't throw up.

_Light shines through the windows, waking me from sleep. I yawn and stretch like a cat feeling refreshed. Christian is gone, obviously at his meeting and I'm alone. I frown and then shrug. Time for a shower. I clamber out of bed and head into the bathroom. I turn on the shower and let it run while I undress. _

_The hot water cascades down my back as I wash my hair with Christian's shampoo, not wanting to use mine. "Okay, Little Blip, we have three meetings today. Do you think we can make it without being sick?" We can definitely try. Although it probably won't work. Morning sickness will come when it wants to._

_After my shower, I don't bother wrapping a towel around my body seeing as I'm the only one here. I sashay into the bedroom only to find a masked person standing there with a gun pointed at me. Before I'm able to react, the gun goes off. _

I wake with a scream. My heart is pounding and I'm shaking. I grab my stomach and begin to sob. The door bursts open and I clutch the blanket to my chest. Sawyer stands there searching for something. His eyes land on me and they soften from their once hardened look.

"Are you okay, Miss Steele?"

Shakily, I nod. "I-I'm fine. It was just a nightmare. C-can you ask Gail to make me tea?"

Sawyer nods and closes the door behind him. I could see in his eyes that he was concerned. Most likely he'd tell Taylor and Taylor would tell Christian. I wrap the blanket around myself and attempt to walk to the bathroom, but my knees buckle. Once again I begin to sob. I curl up in the blanket and hold my stomach. _What was that?_ Daddy's never going to let anything happen to us, Little Blip. After ten minutes of trying to curl into myself, I finally get up and shower. My face is red and blotchy but I don't care.

I dress into a white blouse and black slacks. I don't bother with my hair and just throw it up. Heels or flats? Flats. With the decision, I slip on black flats and grab my phone, dialing Christian's number. I'm still shaken up about the nightmare and I don't feel safe anymore.

"Ana, is everything okay? Are you okay? The baby?"

Tears well up in my eyes and I try to blink them away, but I'm unable to. "No, everything is not okay."

I could sense the color draining from Christian's face. "I'm on my way."

"I'm not at work yet, Christian."

"Then where are you?"

"At home. I ... C-can I work fr-from Grey H-house today?"

Christian's worried and anxious. Even over the phone I can tell. "Of course, Ana. You can do anything you want. I'll have Andrea call someone to bring in a desk for you."

"Thank you," I whisper.

"Ana, tell me what's wrong?"

"When I get there."

"Just tell me if something's wrong with the baby," he pleads, his voice strained.

"Nothing's wrong with the baby."

Sawyer doesn't ask questions when I tell him to bring me to Grey House. Christian has an extra desk in his office along with breakfast for me. I literally run into his arms when I see him. He strokes my hair gently and tries to calm my hysteria. "I-I had a nightmare. Th-there was a masked m-man with a gun—"

A pained look overtakes Christian's face. "He shot you," he whispers, looking pained, sick, and pale.

I nod and bury my face in his chest. "Can I work here for a little while?"

"Ana, why don't we just take the final step and move SIP to Grey House and make it Grey Publishings?"

My eyes grow wide. "But ... would that be okay?"

"I own SIP. Of course it would be okay."

"Okay," I whisper.

Christian beams. "I'll start on that right away." As it turns out, after Christian got off the phone with me, he canceled any and all meetings for the day. I think that's a sweet gesture.

I take a seat at the desk that was newly set up in the office. "Thank you for this," I say just as Christian sits at his own desk.

"Anything for you, baby," he says with a smile.

Christian busies himself with work while I eat my breakfast. His eyes drift to me every so often. A smile becomes a permanent look on my face. When I look at Christian, he turns away acting like he wasn't just looking at me. But when I start going through paperwork and find him looking at me, he doesn't look away. Instead he smiles.

"What?" I ask. "Why do you keep looking at me?"

"You're so beautiful," Christian murmurs.

A blush settles on my cheeks. He chuckles and I purposely ignore him. I'm just about finished with all the paperwork and about to start editing a paper when Christian is suddenly next to me. He strokes my cheek lovingly. I continue to ignore him and begin to type away on the computer.

He begins to kiss my neck. "Christian," I warn. His laughter vibrates my neck. My inner goddess is screaming at me to give in, but I can't. I need to complete my work like he needs to complete his.

"Oh, Ana, my beautiful Ana."

Andrea chooses that moment to knock on the door. Christian groans. "Come in," he calls bitterly.

"Mr. Grey, your brother is here. Shall I send him in?" Andrea doesn't look as frightened as others would be. It must be from how long she's worked with him.

Christian clears his throat. "Andrea? What did I tell you about meetings today." Oh my God. Seriously?

"Oh hush, Christian," I say. "Andrea, send him in." As soon as Andrea disappears, I address Christian. "Stow your twitching palm, Mr. Grey."

"Fuck," he curses. "Why the fuck is my brother always interrupting us?

I roll my eyes. "This wasn't going to go anywhere."

"That's what you think."

Ever since we went out to dinner with Ray and the rest of the family, Elliot has been walking in on some pretty _steamy_ scenes between me and Christian. It's like he knows when we're about to have sex. We're either in the act or we're doing foreplay. He always has some sort of dilemma that only Christian or I can handle. Most of the time he just interrupts us, but some of the time he literally walks in on us. Christian has almost killed his brother many times.

Elliot saunters in with a smug grin on his face like he knew. "Well hello there."

Christian slams his hands on my desk. "What the fuck, Elliot. Do you have us bugged? How the hell do you know?"

The eldest Grey son shrugs. "I have a sixth sense."

"Yeah, right," I respond. "But seriously, Elliot, do you have us bugged? If you do, you should fear for your life. I cannot save you from Christian's wrath."

"You won't need to. I truly do not have either one of you bugged. I'm telling you I have a sixth sense."

I just stare at him. "I'm already pregnant. It's not like you're stopping him from impregnating me." Christian places his hands on my shoulders, situating himself behind me.

He shrugs again. "True. I guess I'll stop. Now I have an actual problem. I was heading over to SIP because Kate wanted me to give something to you. There was a man outside that asked me about you, Ana." Christian's hands tighten on my shoulders. "I called security and then went inside to see if you were there. Hanna said that you never came in and so I figured you'd be here. It was sheer luck really that Christian was trying to get some." Elliot hands me an envelope from Kate. "Kate told me not to open it, but she did say to tell you that it showed up at the apartment."

One second the envelope is in my hands and the next it's not. "Chrisitan-" I start to protest, but stop once I see the fear in his eyes.

"Elliot, stay with Ana. I'll be back."

I blink at his retreating figure as he walks out the door. Elliot looks at me. "What was that about? And why is there another desk for you in Christian's office?"

"To be honest, Elliot, I have no idea. As for the desk, well, I wanted to work from here for a couple of days."

Elliot arches a brow. "Would that have anything to do with the fear I saw in my brother's eyes?"

I look at him. "I'm not entirely sure."

* * *

**Ooooooooookay. Hello and welcome to the end of the seventh chapter. That smut scene sucked and it was short. I know. It's my first one so it obviously wasn't any good. Buuuuuuut heyyyyy. I'll work on it and get a better one. You guys know the deal with the so I won't keep repeating my spiel. Although, I _will _thank all of you for the awesome reviews! Thanks so much. **


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